10 Ways to mark Mother's Day when you don't have a mother to celebrate.

We all know that Mother’s Day can be hard for some people.  Some of us are estranged from our mums, some of us have mums who have passed away and some of us have very complicated families that will prevent us from celebrating our mums on that special day.  I know from personal experience that it can be so hard to see all of the lovely social media posts about how wonderful other people’s mums are and how great they feel on this special day.  It can sting-especially when most of us will end up not celebrating how we would like to due to the dreaded COVID so I thought I would share some ways to celebrate/mark the day as best we can either way.

  1. If you are a mother yourself, make sure you are treated to breakfast in bed, or at least make yourself breakfast and take it back to bed if nobody is old enough in your house to do that for you!  Spoil yourself with some self-care at some point during the day-remember, today is YOUR day.  If you are not a mother-spoil yourself anyway!  Do something you enjoy that will take your mind off of the day for a bit.
  2. Allow yourself time to grieve if you need to-it’s ok to be sad on this day and work through your feelings at your own pace.  It is totally natural to have some tough feelings come up on days like this.
  3. Stay away from people who say things like “but she’s your mum” or some version of this if you are estranged-this doesn’t help and is quite frankly insulting.  You have permission to turn your phone onto airplane mode for the day or block people.
  4. Celebrate those people who have a motherly influence in your life, your friend who gives great advice when you need it, the older colleague who always knows when you need a hug, the sister who basically brought you up, etc.  Family doesn’t always have to mean related by blood.
  5. If you do have motherly figures in your life, make plans to celebrate when you are able to-a picnic in the park on a nice day, a meal out at your favourite restaurant, a trip to the theatre-whatever you like.  It will feel good to have something to look forward to.
  6. Get out of the house for your daily walk.  We all know that getting some fresh air and vitamin D is good for us so make sure you do it!
  7. Write your mum a letter-even if you never send it.  It can help to put your feelings down on paper and get them out of your head.
  8. If you aren’t into writing, you can talk to someone you trust about how you feel which can be just as cathartic.  Or record/video yourself on your phone-you can delete it later if you want but it might help you feel you re talking to someone.
  9. Look through old pictures if you are up to it (with others if you can) and remember the good times-although this will only work if you have good memories and feelings towards your mum.
  10. Remember that you have made it through as long as you have without your mum and you are resilient enough to carry on.  Give yourself credit for that and remind yourself that tomorrow is a new day.

Bonus tip:  If you want to bury your head in the sand and pretend it’s just another day and that helps you-DO IT!  No judgement here.  We all have to do whatever it takes to survive some days and sometimes this is it.


I hope this helped in some way-even if just to remind you that you are not alone.  My email, DM’s and messages are always open if you are struggling.  

Take care of yourself,

Stacy xx  




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